For My Daughter

If there was one thing I would want for you it’s for you to not be like me. I would never want you to look at me and strive to be that when you’re older. Sure, you can have my attitude, I think you’ve had that since the day you were born, and you can have my toughness and good heart, which I like to believe I have, but don’t live your life the way I did and don’t just settle for being someone you don’t absolutely love to be.

You have to love yourself. Love who you are. You don’t have to love everything about yourself but that’s normally things on the outside. You have to love who you are on the inside. You have to be happy with the kind of person you are and you have to know that it’s ok to make yourself happy first before you make anyone else happy. It’s ok to be selfish that way as long as you’re not too selfish and as long as you don’t hurt someone else in the process.

Do what you want with your life. I don’t care if your life goal is to be a bartender, or a garbage woman, or the president. I just want you to be happy with yourself and the choices you make. I will never push you to be someone you don’t want to be. I want you to try different things because that’s the only way to know what you like and don’t like, but if you don’t like something then you don’t have to do it, or eat it, or use it, or whatever. You’ll try 100 things before you find the one thing that makes your soul come alive, that makes your heart skip a beat. Don’t go through life never knowing what that is.

Don’t live a life where you regret so many things that you didn’t do. Don’t be a 43-year-old woman watching TV and seeing all of the possibilities she never pursued. Don’t just watch other people doing things, go out and do them yourself. Don’t read about things or see them on TV or in a movie to get a sense of what it’s like to do them. Get up, go out and try all of those things. Don’t wonder about everything, experience it yourself. You don’t want to live a life wondering what you could have become, wondering about all of the things you could have done. I feel like I do that a lot and it really sucks. It sucks to live a life of ‘what ifs’. It sucks to say to yourself every day ‘if only I did…’. Don’t ever think it’s too late to make changes in your life because every day is a new beginning. Do whatever you can not to get to a point in your life where you look back and see nothing.

You’re going to learn that life is too short to be unhappy for too long. There’s going to be sadness in your life and unfortunately you will feel pain more than once. But don’t let that ruin any happiness you are able to feel. Don’t hold onto any hurt that you feel because it will cripple you and suffocate you and I would never want you to live like that.

You have to grab life with both hands. Set your sights on what you want and don’t stop moving forward until you get everything your heart desires. Don’t let other people discourage you, put you down or spit on your dreams. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough or that you’ll never get what you want. Those people are just pissed off because they didn’t have the balls to go after what they wanted in their own life so they try to make others as miserable as they are and bring people down. Don’t ever let anyone do that to you. Don’t let anyone ever take any of your happiness away from you, not even me or your father. No one in this entire world has the right to take away or ruin your happiness. Not everyone gets what they want, and unfortunately some people never find true happiness. So whenever and wherever you find it, grab it and don’t let it go.

Dream big baby…as big as your heart and mind can dream. Reach for the highest star and never give up until you have it in your hands. You can do anything. You’ve been proving me right about that since the day you were born, and I don’t think you’re ever going to stop.